5.07.2013

Unglued

Kelly over at Kelly's Korner, along with several other great bloggers, is doing a series called Build 'em Up where every other Tuesday they present a topic and you can link up with the intention of encouraging & building each other up!  Such a great idea and it has been a great encouragement to me!!  Today's topic is "unglued moments".  I feel almost shamefully qualified to chat about this one...
 
A few years ago, we had two boys and they were both in school and I thought I had this whole mommy thing down. (key words being "i thought". ha!)  I had a system that kept the house clean, laundry done, etc so we thought....let's have another baby.  And after a bit of struggle we found out we were expecting our 3rd baby!!  We were thrilled!!  Then Dylan was born and we were over the moon in love with him!  But what I didn't expect was how overwhelmed I would feel adding a 3rd little person to the family.  Baby #3 derailed.my.train.  In a huge way!  And then less than a year later God called us to homeschooling.  Say wha?!  Right now Lord?!  And His reply was yes. now.  And so we jumped into that world too!
 
i know. i know.  how could i ever come unglued w/ those sweet faces?!!
 
Fast forward to today.....I have 3 amazing healthy boys.  They each have birthdays coming soon and will be 12, 8, & 2.  And I homeschool the older two while trying to keep the baby from destroying himself or the house.  I feel I do a pretty good job at keeping him in one piece but the house??  Not so much.  My house has never been so disorganized.  And I don't do well with the lack of organization.  I don't handle messy very well.  Add in some really intense life circumstances that we're facing right now and it is a recipe for an overwhelmed mommy!  Unfortunately, when the house is messy and I'm overwhelmed, I tend to come "unglued".  Hardly my finest moments for sure.  I always feel so awful after losing my patience and blowing up. 
 
I'm slowly learning some ways to help me handle those "unglued" moments.  I'm far from avoiding those not so pretty moments all together, which I hate, but the following things do help me to control it more often!
 
**Quiet time ~ a few months ago, I decided enough was enough.  I desperately needed time with the Lord each day and I wasn't finding that time consistently during the day or in the evenings.  So I began getting up earlier so that I would have that time.  It has been a game changer!  It just gets my day off to a positive start!  It definitely doesn't change the pressures of each day but it helps me to maintain perspective and it keeps the Lord and His word in my heart & mind all day!
 
**Prayer ~ there are A LOT of times that all I can manage is a "Jesus where are you??  Help!!!"  But even that quick desperate prayer when I feel myself coming unglued is a difference maker! 
 
**Communication ~ I've learned with the older boys, if i can calmly communicate to them that they are really pressing my patience or that the baby's behavior is overwhelming me before I lose control, they typically will try to do what they can to help.  They are certainly still kids and it doesn't always happen that way, but it does help sometimes! 
 
I'm so blessed by him! and he loves me even through all of my unglued craziness!
 
Same goes with John ~ why is is that the one person we love so much tends to be the one that we take out all of our frustration on?!  I used to think I had to put a smile on my face and pretend like the day had been perfect and all was well when he walked through the door each evening.  But then the tension of the day that I was ignoring and hiding behind a smile would bubble over and I'd come unglued with him. =(  I've learned that if I can let him know that I'm having an overwhelming day or that I'm struggling to hold it together, then he can try to work with me to help me avoid coming unglued.  Unfortunately, I'm not perfect and I still struggle with snapping at him and taking out frustrations from the day on him, but the communication does help!
 
**Girlfriends ~ having a close few friends that I can call on those particularly rough days and know that they will encourage me, pray for me, help me to laugh about the craziness is priceless!  And I love being that for my friends too!!  We're in this whole mommy & wife thing together!! 
 
 
Also??  Taking time to get away sometimes for coffee with a friend, a girls night out, pedicures with a girlfriend, lounging by the pool....time to laugh, cry, chat and just be us outside of our roles as mommy's and wives is so so so important!!
 
I wish I could say that all of these things have eliminated my "unglued" moments, but that would be a total lie!  These things have helped me to maintain control sometimes though and for that I'm thankful! 
 
Be sure to head over to Kelly's Korner and be encouraged!!  We're not in this whole life thing alone!!  And please do comment and share how you handle your "unglued" moments ~ I'd love to hear from you!!
 
 
 
Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.
~1 Peter 1:13~

6 comments:

Emily-Kathryn Klinefelter said...

Your an amazing mother, wife, friend, and women. I feel so lucky o have found you at Whidbey and then that we are both here even if only for a short while. Just keep handing it up to G-d and he will keep hand on you.

Angela said...

Girl you're amazing!! Juggling 3 kids and a house seems overwhelming to me, but then you homeschool too?! I don't know how you do it. :)

Blue-Eyed Bride said...

I know that none of us are perfect, but you seem to be doing a great job and handling so much with grace. The fact that you homeschool, have 3 boys (I have 2 boys- love it!), and one of your boys is two years old... I am impressed, lady! I love your coping mechanisms. We can't do it alone. We're not in it alone. Thank the Lord for that!! :)

THanks for linking up with us today and for taking the time to encourage others! :)

Natasha said...

One thing that I love is that we are all in this together. Just reading other people's admissions that they too become unglued, has helped me so much. Just to realize that I am not alone is comforting.

Courtney DeFeo at Lil Light O' Mine said...

i always think the same thing after mine are asleep - how could i ever be mad at such cute people? :) and then they wake up and start barking orders. heehee. right there with ya. great tips. you're a great mom!

Jennifer said...

I tend to come unglued when I'm overwhelmed as well. Then something unrelated triggers my unglued moment. I'm always left feeling crazy and guilty. I think you are a fantastic mother, I'm loving this topic because I think we can see how similar we all really are as mothers.
Thanks for linking up with us!