Low key for me!

We've had the best low key weekend!!  Sometimes it seems life moves at such a quick pace that i crave weekends that aren't scheduled to the hour.  weekends to just be with my family and relax and enjoy each other and this weekend has been just that!

Saturday morning john took the big boys to see Avengers! (finally!)  They all wore their super hero shirts and the boys were SO excited!  While they were gone i got some blogging done while dylan napped and then dylan and i played until they got home.  Last night the big boys helped daddy grill some burgers and we ate burgers & baked sweet potato fries for dinner, and then just lounged and watched tv together.  Once the big boys were in bed, hubby worked on finishing up his school work for this term and i did some family vacay planning!

 {dylan wanting to be outside grilling w/ the big boys!}

 {excited about Avengers!}

{dylan wanted in on the super hero play action!} 

relaxed.  productive.  perfect!  hopefully we'll have a few more of these before sports start back up in the fall! ;)


dylan's birthday ~ part 3

read part 1 here.

& part 2 is here.

so this is where things got really crazy!  the doc looks up at the nurse and says "she's at a 0".  the nurse stares at the doc completely not understanding what he's trying to say so then he says "we're going to have a baby.  we need to get her in a room NOW!"  and it was like semi organized chaos broke out!  they rushed me into a room and there were atleast 3 or 4 people all around me taking my shirt off and putting a gown on me.  (totally don't care about the shirt...can i just push please?!)  asking me to sign waivers and paperwork. (i'm shaking so bad at this point from the pain and still have NO idea what i signed)  setting up the bed, telling me not to push....blah blah blah. 

and then?  anesthesia comes in.  what?  (remember that whole hospital policy about anesthesia in place for a vbac? so dumb.  just let me push!)  so because the baby is so far down the birth canal, i can't sit up. so they roll me on my side and proceed to attempt to administer a spinal block.  i went back and forth between screaming at the dude doing it  and crying and begging them to just let me have my baby!  finally they roll me back over and tell me i can push.  2 or 3 contractions later there he was!!

 {my fave right after birth pic!}

{overwhelmed with love for him!}

and somehow all that pain and craziness just disappears!  it was just me, john and this amazing baby boy!  i wondered with my 2nd pregnancy how i could ever love another baby like i loved colby.  and then brayden was born and it was instant.  then thru my 3rd pregnancy i just couldn't wrap my mind around how i could possibly have enough love to give 3 boys and then they layed Dylan on chest and i was head over heels.  It blows my mind that God can pour so much love into us that we are then able to love each of our babies so much!  And it never runs out ~ endless love!

 {colby & brayden meeting him for the 1st time!}

{be still my heart.  my boys!}

I still couldn't tell you who was in the room when i delivered but i do know that regardless of how crazy it was i am so thankful it ended with a healthy beautiful 8lb 9oz baby boy!!  fun fact ~ on my l&d record paperwork it shows that it was only 7 minutes between when they actually admitted me in the computer and when i delivered! =)

 {1st pic as a family of 5!}

 {LOVE him!}

 {sweet boy in the bili lights ~ he had pretty bad jaundice}

{going home!}

I remember daydreaming and wondering that last few weeks of my pregnancy what my labor and birth story would be like.  And i honestly assumed it would be like brayden's.....long, drawn out....i never dreamed it would be what it was!  I love birth stories.  I love how God is so creative and we each have our own unique stories surrounding such a wonderful experience in our lives!!

dylans birthday ~ part 2

picking up where i left off on part 1.....

by about 8:30 the big boys were up and everyone else was all excited. me? still in total denial but agreed that maybe i should call my girlfriend that was going to watch the boys when the time came and be sure she was available! while on the phone with her i had another contraction and it had only been 5 minutes. i had to drop the phone and breathe through it ~ each one seemed to be getting more painful! i remember her saying "aubrey, i really think you should just bring the boys to me and go on up to the hospital" oh no no silly....i'm not going to be the girl they send home! i'm going to wait it out a little longer. 3 contractions later i told john "we've gotta go now. i can't do this anymore!" (hahaha!)

the boys helped load the car and off we went. the drive is a painful blur. we dropped the boys and headed for the hospital. when we parked i told john "just leave all of our stuff. once they get me in a room and get the epidural in place you can come back down and grab it." (thankfully he was smart enough to atleast grab the camera!) *side note ~ i had this weird fear of contracting on the elevator full of strangers. i remember asking john when we got on "how long till my next one?" and i remember seeing looks of horror on the faces of every man on that elevator!!! LOL!* we get upstairs, i get to the desk and the woman says "we need a nurse to rule out labor". bad words went thru my mind....honey you aren't ruling out anything. you better be calling anesthesia! anyway...

after 20 minutes on the monitor they come in and check me. 2cm. WHA??!! without being gross and giving you tmi, the nurse explained that a specific something in my medical history was probably keeping me from dialating. she said "you're definitely in labor but we don't admit until you're 4cm". so the plan was to let me labor in the triage room and re-check me in an hour or so. within 10 minutes of her walking out my contractions were every 3 minutes, every 2 minutes....you get the idea. i was DYING. you see...with a vbac, hospital policy is that you have an epidural in place. so going at it all natural wasn't even an option for me. i was very unprepared to handle the pain. i begged anybody that came in the room to please check me, help me, PLEASE!!!!

{trying to smile between contractions. i had no idea how exhausting that kind of pain could be!}

after what seemed like an eternity but was really only 20 minutes they came in and started an iv and gave some iv pain meds. now...to all my medical friends....is it normal for them to start an iv and administer meds before being admitted?!! the meds felt good for about 10 minutes and then the tears started. i told john i couldn't do this. the meds weren't helping anymore. apparently i said some not so nice things to nurses, lab techs....basically anyone who walked in the room. i knew they needed to check me. i knew i needed help and they wouldn't listen.

FINALLY the doc comes in and i'm screaming at him that "i just peed on myself" and "this is disgusting" and "you need to do something"....oh boy. i had reached my limit and couldn't take anymore! So he decides to go ahead and check me and repeatedly tells me i'm "doing so well" and to "keep breathing thru those contractions". UGH. quit taking your sweet time and HELP me! so he goes to check me and what do you know??! he hits dylan's head. and then a look of shock comes over him. and i remember saying "was that my babies head you just hit?"...........

dylan's birthday

recording the story of dylan's birth is really mostly for me....so that i don't forget any of the details!  but you are welcome to read along!  it was a bit crazy and now its fun to look back on!  i'm breaking it up into 2 or 3 posts....

a little history to set the scene ~ with colby i had a c-section.  with brayden a successful vbac but had to be induced due to severe pre eclampsia.  my pregnancy with dylan was high risk for a couple of reasons and when i started contracting quite a bit early on my doc's goal was lets make it to 35 weeks.  My goal was 38 weeks.  God is so good and by His grace i was able to avoid bed rest and made it all the way until 2 days before my due date.  this was the longest i had ever carried a baby and it was july in pensacola, fl.  i was BEYOND ready to have that baby!  but i was in denial too!

sunday, july 17th i skipped church.  i told john "my grace tank is empty" and i just couldn't answer any more dumb questions  like "what are you still doing here?" and "when are you gonna have that baby already?".  i know people mean well but i was miserable and doing my best to not dwell on the misery and i just couldn't do it.  spent time in prayer begging God to get this party started! =)

{the day before i delievered!}

monday, july 18th around 4am i wake up to this strange pain.  i was so out of it that i remember thinking that was weird and laying back down.  about the time i was really starting to doze off it happened again.  (remember i had never done the whole go into labor on your own thing....)  this was certainly different than anything else i had felt and after a few more "pains" i decided i must be contracting.  woke john and told him.  we decided to time a few of them ~ every 11 minutes on the dot.  OMGOODNESS....this is where i got really excited!!  this was it!!  so i got up and ate a little bit of something since i just knew we'd be headed to the hospital at some point and they wouldn't let me eat. 

and then?  the contractions got a little sporadic....still painful but not so regular.  UGH.  i was so frustrated and told john to let me take a shower and then just head on into work.  (why i asked him to wait for me to take a shower i really don't know...)  as i was getting in the shower i had a really strong, doubled me over contraction and yelled out to john.  it has only been 9 minutes since the last one.  while in the shower another one ~ only 6 minutes since the last.  so totally in denial i was still frustrated but thankfully john decided he wasn't going into work!  ;)  from that point on i contracted every 6 minutes for a while...... 


I'm back!!!

Oh how i've missed blogging.  And while i have wanted for so long to come back to it, the final push was reading back thru old posts and realizing what a blessing it is to have those memories journaled here!  I want that so badly.  To have this journal of the ups and downs, trials and triumphs our family faces and to be able to read about God's faithfulness through it all. 

SO much has gone on the last year in our world!  We moved and shortly after that became a family of 5! i still marvel at how adding one more little person can change SO much in our everyday lives.  I'm completely overwhelmed more days than not but i've learned to rely on Jesus more and more and let go of unrealistic expectations of perfection.  God has gently shown me that my number 1 ministry right now is my family and thats okay!  I'm learning (slowly!) to cherish right where God has me....in the thick of the crazy, loud, not as organized as i'd like, not as clean as i'd like, beautiful chaos that is our home & family right now! 

{the most recent picture of the whole family!}

I'm excited to be back and to share with friends and family all the madness here in the Miculka's world!  Up next.....a little reflection back to the day Dylan was born.  It was a little crazy and i certainly never want to forget the little details!